Escaping
by ShippingLehane
Summary: The coronation is in a day, and she's not even close to controlling this curse. (Incest. Please do not read if this offends you.)


_Prompt on tumblr: One day, before her coronation is supposed to take place, Elsa gives up and feels it would be easier just to die. She tries to kill herself, but Anna, somehow aware that something is up, breaks into Elsa's room as she's dying and saves her at the last minute. Later, a long talk and lots of crying and hugging ensues._

_I'm completely new to the fandom, and I absolutely adore Elsanna. _

* * *

The frost covered yet another candelabrum, crackling as it enveloped the fine metal. She can't do it.

The coronation is in a day, and she's not even close to controlling this curse.

It was the most vicious of circles that Princess Elsa had found herself in. Her powers showed when she was nervous, and she was nervous about showing her powers, and there wasn't anything she could do to break out.

_Yes, there is._

Elsa pushed the desperate thought away, but unlike all the other times she did so, it came back, nagging at her as it kept whispering the only possible escape from her nightmares.

_You'll be free forever._

She can't, however entertaining the thought appeared to be. She has responsibilities and duties, and she can't give up on them, just like she can't give up on her people who wait for her eagerly to become the Queen they deserved.

She can't leave Anna.

_Anna. The one who suffered by your hand. The one who is still suffering because you're a monster who can't interact with anyone._

Elsa clutched her temples as the frost took over the room, snowflakes frozen in the air, the eternal beauty of them bringing the soon-to-be-Queen nothing but more pain.

_You'll be doing everyone a favor, and you know it. She'll be free from you, from this curse._

But Anna will be all alone. She can't betray her.

_She already _is_ all alone._

"No," Elsa muttered to herself. "You don't understand."

_But I do understand, Elsa. Because I am _you.

"Stop it, stop it,_ stop!_" the princess shouted, her hands in her hair as she whirled, the frozen snowflakes in her room following her, creating a storm.

_Look around, Elsa. If you can't handle yourself, you won't be able to keep it in check during coronation._

The future Queen, opened her eyes, coiling back in shock as the snow raged all around her, tearing her room apart. With an unbelievable struggle of will, she calmed it down, dropping to her knees from exhaustion.

_It's the only way._

Elsa slowly lifted her head, taking in the destroyed furniture and torn-up bed, feathers from the pillows dancing with settling snowflakes as they soundlessly landed on the frozen floor. This was her. Destruction, ice, storm.

_Death._

It was the only way to keep everyone safe from her.

She had to take her own life.

The princess tried to get up, but her shaking legs gave out, and she collapsed, spreading on the ice that once was her floor. She'd have to do it right here, right now, without the least of dignity saved.

Somehow, it seemed fitting.

The dangerous beauty of the ice knife she materialized captivated her for a moment. She traced the transparent blade, watching with fascination as the rich red of her blood mixed with crystal ice, dripping from her picked finger.

The pain was barely there, the agonizing ache inside her heart outweighing its physical counterpart as she slid the blade up her arms, leaving angry gashes along the length of her delicate limbs. The blood trickled down her pale skin, the color so vibrant and so _alive._

It was ironic, really – how she felt the most alive on her deathbed.

Now, if only the pounding at her door could stop so she could leave in peace.

"Elsa?!" A panicked clear voice called out behind the door, and then it rattled as someone tried the handle. "Elsa, I heard you screaming! Wait, what-" The voice was silent for a second, and Elsa gratefully closed her suddenly heavy eyes.

"Elsa, why is there frost on your door?!" The panic in the voice grew tenfold, and the knocking became frantic.

_No, Anna. Go away. I'm setting you free._

Thinking is so hard. And she was _so_ tired…

The sound of the door being cracked open sounded distant, like she was underwater. Maybe she was – she certainly felt like she was swimming, the waves carrying her further and further fomr the shore into the soft light of the sunset.

"Oh my God, Elsa! No, please, no!"

Someone was sobbing near her, the tears hitting her skin and instantly turning into ice.

"Guards! Kai, Gerda! Someone, please help!" a warm hand felt sizzling hot on her chilly arm as she was tugged onto someone's soft lap.

"You're going to be okay," she heard soft muttering, a voice laced with tears and fear. "I've got you, Elsa. I'm here. Please, somebody, help!"

_Anna._

She was the picture of absolute despair as she rocked Elsa gently, crying, her face twisted in panic and grief.

_Even now, you're still hurting her, when she's done nothing but reach out to you._

It's for the best, Anna.

"A-An… Anna," the blonde barely managed, feeling cold for the first time in her life.

"Good Lord, Elsa," her sister breathed out through her tears, her hold on her tightening. "I've got you, shh, don't talk. You'll be okay," the redhead briefly gazed around the room, a look of surprise and then understanding passing her features. "So that's why… Elsa, I wish I'd known so I could be there for you," she whispered regretfully, stroking the older girl's cheek.

"Anna… I'm sorry," the blonde wheezed, struggling to breathe evenly. Her eyes are so damn heavy. Were they always so heavy?

"Elsa, no, don't close your eyes!" Hands tried to pry her eyes open, and she blinked, not able to focus them on anything, a blurry tear-streaked face of her sister hovering above her. "Stay awake. For me. Please, Elsa, please."

She's begging, Just like all those times she stood outside the door, her knocking growing weaker and more unsure as the day passed, until she finally gave up.

._She gave up. Just like I was about to._

Elsa let out a pained gasp as she was slammed with the realization of the severity of her decision and its consequences.

It's too late.

"Elsa, no- hold on, do you hear me?! Please! Elsa, don't let go, don't- I love you, and you can't leave me… You just can't…"

It was growing weaker, the voice of this grieving girl whom she couldn't remember.

"Your Highness, please step aside."

"Just help her. Please…"

The blackness finally swallowed her whole, her fingers slipping from her sister's hand.

_I love you, Anna._

Her head hurt like crazy.

Was that how Hell felt like? Numbness all over and dim lightning?

Elsa groaned, her throat scratchy and dry. Where was she?

"I was told you would be thirsty," a timid voice stated near her, and the blonde slowly turned her head to the left, revealing Anna seated at her bed, clutching a glass in her trembling hands. "Well, are you?"

The older girl nodded, not trusting her voice just yet. So she wasn't dead.

_Anna_ _saved me._

She greedily gulped down on the offered water, asking for a refill twice before finally quenching her thirst. Only after she placed the glass on the bedside table did she see the bandages on her arms, covering them up to her elbows.

"It really helped that your room was practically freezing," Anna supplied quietly, watching her. "You didn't lose enough blood to- to d… You didn't bleed out on the spot," her sister struggled with words.

Figures. She couldn't even find peace with those damn powers in the way.

"How long have I been here?" Elsa inquired huskily, clearing her throat in a vain effort.

"Three days."

Elsa's eyes widened in shock.

Three days?

What about the coronation?

"People were informed that there was an assassination attempt on the Queen," Anna rushed to explain, understanding her distress. "Your coronation is set to be in a week."

Elsa released a breath she didn't realize she was holding. Anna had to handle all of this. She had to come up with a lie, and she had to tell that lie to people who trusted her, and she had to sit there going out of her mind, wondering if her sister was even going to wake up at all.

And what if she succeeded in that self-inflicted 'assassination attempt'? What would Anna do then?

She didn't deserve her sister. She didn't deserve anything, especially her life that Anna had saved, but she had to go on for the sake of this girl in front of her.

"How are you feeling?" Anna asked casually, getting up to light more candles.

"Um," Elsa thought for a moment, feeling her body and flexing sore muscles. "I feel good," she concluded. "My head hurts a bit, but I am sure it will get better in no ti-"

A sharp stinging slap shut her up, leaving her shocked as she rubbed the reddened cheek, gaping at her furious little sister.

"How could you, Elsa," Anna said shakily, unshed tears glistening in her eyes. "How… I can' even form words, that's how angry I am at you right now."

"I'm – I'm sorry," Elsa whispered, her eyes down. "I'm sorry I almost left you. I…"

"This is _not_ about me!" Anna exclaimed angrily. "I'm mad because you thought you weren't _worthy_ of living! I understand now, Elsa," she addressed the blonde who was shocked at her sister's insightfulness. "What you struggled with, what you went through, what you thought you had to hide from everyone." She took deep breaths, attempting to calm herself down before speaking up again. "I'm still mad at you, but I _understand,_" the redhead whispered, tears finally cascading down her cheeks. "And for the first time, I'm _here_ for you, Elsa."

The future Queen trembled as sobbing took over her body, Anna right by her side in an instant, enveloping her in a tight hug.

"I've got you, Elsa," she whispered soothingly to a crying girl, rocking her back and forth and watching, transfixed, as the frost ran over the walls.

"You don't get it, Anna," the blonde said after she got her emotions under controls. "This," she gestured at the frozen walls, "this is dangerous. I'm dangerous. I can't be the Queen, and I most certainly can't be around you."

"You are not shutting me out again," Anna said lowly, and Elsa was taken aback at the steel in the girl's voice. "And I'm not letting you go after I finally got you back. I'll be here for you, Elsa," she tried. "You won't be alone. You'll learn to control your wonderful gift, and I'll be her with you all the way, helping you."

"You don't-"

"I believe in you, Elsa!" the girl exclaimed, frustrated. "I believe in you, and you owe it to me to believe in yourself as well. Or at least try to," she pleaded, her expression desperate as she clung to the older girl.

_For her._

There wasn't anything in this world she wouldn't do for those big teal eyes, Elsa realized.

She didn't even know her sister's eyes were that color.

She didn't even really know the girl in front of her. Princess Anna of Arendelle, Her Royal Highness, sister of soon-to-be Queen Elsa of Arendelle. That was it.

She had no idea which color was princess' favorite. She didn't know if her sister liked riding or swimming, or both. If she knew how to draw, or write poems, or sing, or dance.

In an essence, she was holding a stranger in her arms, and yet, her heart fluttered madly in her chest as she inhaled the fresh summer scent of the girl.

_What?_

That was her _sister._ They were experiencing a major break-through in their _sibling_ relationship, and Anna was terrified and vulnerable after she witnessed her older sister bleed out, and here she was, having God-forbidden thoughts.

If that wasn't the perfect description of 'inappropriate', she didn't know what was.

"Okay," she scurried to say, desperate to chase away the unwanted shameful thoughts and distract herself. "We will do as you say."

As her heart clenched in her chest at the big teary smile Anna beamed at her, she realized she still had to confront that unhealthy pull she felt toward the younger girl.

But as Anna nestled back in her arms, allowing herself to break down in her sister's arms, she knew it was not the task for today.

Today, she let Anna have her big sister back.

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_Please review!_


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